Everything goes with Dinka... God love the truth

This week has been fruitful in terms of gifts about Mom. Peter was over this week spending time as his home is under huge renovations, a dear family friend since childhood, who enlightened us to a dear heart references to mom. Peter did the eulogy for my Dad’s funeral 21 years ago on January 15, 2001. This week he gave us the gift this week about family.

We were in the kitchen enjoying conversation about many things “old world” and “old country” when the compliment came up for Mom. Peter’s eulogy for Dads was so amazing and fortunately other friends were gifted by his words at their loved ones funerals. Growing up in Vancouver, with then a fairly small Croatian community, it wasn’t hard to be part of a village of “our” people. When you were on the bus and you heard someone speaking our language 10 to 1 you knew them. It’s not quite that way now and our community that grew up that way is shrinking. So these moments of sharing are more and more cherished.

Back to the kitchen for laughs and gift of truth. Peter mentioned how when he was preparing for Mary’s funeral (Mary was a family friend who passed many years ago) when one of her daughter’s brought up Mom. Mom has always told Peter he has to speak at her funeral and in fact she’d like him to write it while she’s alive so she can read it; yes that’s my crazy straight shooting Mom. So it wasn’t a surprise or at all uncomfortable to talk about death and eulogies etc and in fact we had a good laugh when Peter shared the line “oh well if you’re going to do Dinka’s eulogy you better get on it as there’s a lot to say about her life!!!” Oh how the three of us laughed!

It reminded me of a trip to Croatia Mom and I took years ago which I intern shared with Peter. “Mom remember when Mira in kraj said that joke about you?” Mira, is Roša’s daughter and we were at the local in Omisalj, the slastičarna that has been run by the same family for 3 generations when Mom said “Oh ja sam gotova” meaning “oh jeeze I’m finished!!”. Mira looked at her and said “Dinka što govoriš ti nečeš umret, mi čemo te trebat ubit”. This translates to “Dinka what are you talking about? You won’t ever die, we’ll have to kill you!” Oh how we laughed!! and still do…

Enjoy the moments of everyday.

Everything goes with Dinka...let the year begin (bring on the Sarma)

Sarma = Cabbage rolls…

Yes, it’s that time of year again!! Once a year, maybe 2 max., we make cabbage rolls. The deal is you make a ton and share with the lucky ones who are around . This year it was a post Xmas and New Year deal. Mom and I went out to slowly gather all the ingredients over the snowy days. Sauerkraut, three types of meat, rice, the sour cabbage heads, ham hocs, kobasa… made with love = Sarma!!

Everything goes with Dinka...and a HAPPY 2022 to one and all

Happy New Year!! Good bye 2021; a good year, a bad year, a difficult year yet a happy year. I think many of us would agree 2021 was more difficult than 2020 as we emerged out of the shock and dismay of Covid 19 not understanding what it meant. As 2021 kept us surfing the wave of pandemic it created divide and conquer mentalities around the world; families fell apart, friends started arguing , people who didn’t even know each other expressed dislike for each other. The media didn’t help and it was pretty confusing. However, as Dickens said “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times”.

Yet as 2021 whined down it was Dinka who told me it was one of her happiest years yet. That alone puts a smile on your face and when digging a little deeper it was because of the kindness of others. Over Christmas and into the New Year as the snow fell it was friends and neighbours who came out to shovel each others walks. Taking that moment to help someone out. A dear friend came from his neighbourhood to our neighbourhood to help us shovel and it was greatly appreciated. He was our elf-angel. Another snow shovel angel was our tennant who met another shovel angel 3 houses down as they met in the middle to clear half our block!! It’s these kinds of things that make me think 2022 is going to be a good year!

Hopefully it will be a year filled with joy and laughter. Some fun and loving kindness is in order.

One of the highlights to the holiday season for me this year was something we’ve often taken for granted. Raised to be polite with a LOT of please and thank you’s, I never really thought much about greetings. While in Europe “good mornings”, “good afternoons” etc. seemed so matter of fact and of course everyone does it. It was a surprise to me, this year, to find myself feeling soooooo good by simply greeting people. For some strange reason “Merry Christmas”, “Happy Holidays” and “Happy New Year” rung unusually true. Was it because our traditions have been shaken up a bit during Covid? Was it because Omicron has taken Covid to a new level of confusion for us all? Was it because we have forgotten what is normal/ usual behaviour we took for granted?

I’m not sure why greeting friends and strangers felt so good this year but I am grateful that I noticed it.

Mom went to the eye specialist December 29th for her second eye injection for her macular degeneration issue. Regardless of my handwaving arms and squeamish face (on the inside) she braved the ordeal exceptionally well by the good grace of a doctor with exceptional bedside manner; love him for that!! Her and I have managed the 4 days of drops, 4 times a day, that followed and actually have developed a rhythm of how to get that drop in there on the first try. Being an avid reader it’s a god send that she can easily continue reading daily and veraciously.

I’ve taken on a resolution of reading for pleasure an hour a day, while Dinka on the other hand has no problem devoting hours to reading. She finished Little Fortress ages before I did and once I started reading my copy she went back and read it again. I love how she shares her reading with me, story telling and expanding into discussion about women’s issues, specific times in history and so forth. She also finished One Man in His Time.. a memoir by Micheal Audain, before me and now is off onto another work. I don’t worry about keeping up with her reading as she’ll always out read me, which is the best because she’s always happy to share and I get the benefit of listening to her great reads and opinions/reviews.

Wishing everyone a grateful and special 2022!

Everything goes with Dinka...post Xmas/bringing in the New Year reflections

How awesome is it when your 86 year old Mom tells you that “This has been the best year of my life!!” ? When I asked “Really, why is that Ma?”. She said it was because of all the great people she met over the last few years, (the worst of times, the best of times) so many nice kind people. All these people made her feel so welcome and gave her presents and invited her to their homes, boats, conversations etc… We went to their family work parties, were taken for lunches and dinners and introduced to other mothers. I love that she didn’t focus on all the negatives and BIG challenges we faced and discussed over the year but rather cherished the positive moments. So yes, it’s pretty awesome when your 86 year old mother is happy with her life.

Christmas eve we had snowballs flying at the window and one of the guests immediately went negative, with an omg what a horrible thing for someone to do and disturb us…. I, on the other hand (understanding my hood), went to the window to see; hey what’s happening, is it someone I know? LOL it ended up being neighbours who were goofing around and delivering rice pudding to Mom because they know she loves it!! Love looking at the world with the glass half FULL!!

A dear friends annual Christmas email showed up and turns out his focus/theme for the year was gratitude. Now that Omicron is upon us it serves us well to lay low and think about all the things we can be grateful for. Mom spontaneously blurted out her gratitude without thinking. Wether you are philosophical or spontaneous about what you appreciate it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is to take time to look at your full glass (or half full glass) and note on this years good moments. I bet you’ll find more than you thought happened to you.

May your New Year be full of dreams and wishes of whatever you’d like to manifest! Happy 2022 to you and yours.

I’m focussing on being a bit more Dinka everyday — fun, spontaneity, mystery, inviting, joyous, reading, open and always ready for ACTION.

Some of the pleasures of this year and one space to fill in …