So you know when you’re watching t.v. and you accidentally cover your eye and realize your field of vision is VERY impaired? Ya, me neither, but it happened to Dinka. Fourteen months ago we went to the eye specialist and that was post cataract surgery when she was super happy she could so well and all was great. Great, except for this small grey area in the bottom right corner of the right eyes visual field. Well you can imagine my surprise when Dinka said “Oh my, why can’t I see the whole t.v. with that eye?”.
Of course this conversation happened on a Friday night when there was no chance of calling the specialist until Monday. Soooooo, panic set in but you try not to let on and just determine exactly “how much can you actually see there Mom?”. That question was too broad. Hmmmm, okay “how about first look at that art on the wall and what do you see?” That was better and the response was something like “hmmm oh I don’t know maybe the top part or something like that”. Well that means that maybe now its the opposite of the last time when we went to the eye specialist when he told you you had Macular degeneration. In my mind I’m thinking “oh my god, when did we go to the specialist last time? Was that before or during Covid? What does this mean? How could it flip like that…” But what I said was “Well best we make an appointment with Dr. Butler on Monday when the office opens”.
Whether its kids or parents funny how the outside words and inside mind just don’t always work on the transparent level. Right? Also that gave me a whole weekend to stress thinking what the heck is this and is it reversible or treatable? I know we’ve all been there. Meanwhile Dinka is thinking about it slowly as well.
On Monday I get the appointment but she’s not going to see anyone but Dr. Butler. Okkie dokkie then more time to prepare for “the appointment”. I kind of mention “Well Mom you know how your friend Davor has to get needles in his eye? Maybe that’s what will need to be done in your case?”. Silly me I’m thinking let’s plant the seed just incase, ‘cause what the heck do I know about Macular Degeneration. It was so reinforcing when she looked at me and said “No, it’s okay I’ll just go blind in that eye. I’m not doing that”. Holy shit!
Well fast forward to the day of the apt. and the most stressed out receptionist on the planet works for Dr. Butler so that was fun. This poor woman handles a VERY busy office like the Gestapo on steroids. This doesn’t really help make a stressful situation pleasant or relaxing. We’re all masked and 6 ft apart regardless of household or bubbles so have a good time with the now going blind 86 year old who kind of has some hearing problems as well. So sensitive this whole situation is.
Finally, after what felt like a million years we get into see the amazing Dr. Butler. He goes over all the tests that were done in the office before getting in to see him and says “Oh, yes this is that Macular Degeneration and you have some swelling and bleeding going on in that eye. The good news is that we can deal with that today. We just need to give you a needle in the eye!” Oh my god I’m thinking, here we go, wait for it. That’s when Dinka looks at him and says “Oh maybe not today”. Then between him and me with comments like Oh ya maybe we should and ya best to get it done since we’re here….. It gets done!
Ites, I’m thinking to myself this whole aging thing is for the birds. Dinka braved it and listened while I nattered on about food to take her mind off the freezing and needle in the eye (omg), along with encouraging words in Croatian about breathing easy. Thank God Dr. Butler has the most amazing gentle kind bedside manner that helped Miss No I’ll just go blind in that eye, through the ordeal. After all the internal / external personal dilemma of the daughter trying to make her mother’s life smooth sailing what is the result? Mama/Dinka says “Oh that needle in the eye that wasn’t so bad, sure I can to it again next month!”.
I’ve heard many a time friends and foe telling me to go into politics, because of my Balkan ways; the need to express myself passionately about my perception of injustice. My response has always been “I’d rather stab myself in the eye”. Hmmmm, after taking Dinka to the eye specialist running for politics has it’s upside.
Until next week folks.
